There are many misconceptions regarding divorce and co-parenting with your former spouse. Continue reading to discover some of the most common myths about co-parenting after divorce and how to face the idea of co-parenting with a more realistic and grounded state of mind. Reach out to our experienced divorce attorney if you have further questions about navigating co-parenting with your former spouse. We are here to help.
Mothers are always granted primary custody
One of the most common myths about co-parenting after divorce is that mothers are always the parent who is granted primary custody of young children. It is an old myth that does not hold up in today’s courts. Most courts across the US have stopped accepting the “Tender Years Doctrine” which upheld the presumption that mothers were the best fit to parent young children.
Instead, today’s courts consider a number of factors when determining child custody. The number one factor that US courts consider today is the best interest of the child. In many cases, courts will favor shared custody. To debunk this myth, it is important to understand that each parent has an equal opportunity to receive primary or sole custody.
My ex and I need to agree on everything
Holding onto the concept that you and your ex-spouse need to agree on everything, especially regarding household rules and routines, will only cause more contention and stress for you and your family. It is not necessarily the best choice to manage routines across two households. Instead, it is more beneficial to acknowledge that you and your former spouse have differing parenting styles when it comes down to the details such as cooking choices or screen time.
What happens at my house stays at my house
Instead of thinking that what happens in your home is meant to stay in your home, it is best to let your co-parent know basic information about your child. This should include important information such as when they last ate, their last bath, and if there were any issues when they were under your care. This should also include updating your co-parenting with information regarding medical issues or schooling.
It’s too hard for the kids to switch between homes
It is easy to make the assumption that children are disrupted or stressed due to drop-offs and visitation time between both co-parents’ homes. This is actually a myth because children are always better off when they get to spend time and develop relationships and connections with both of their parents.
Contact our experienced Bergen County firm
At Townsend, Tomaio & Newmark, our attorneys have extensive experience helping clients to understand and protect their legal rights before, during, and after the divorce process in towns across New Jersey and Bergen County, including Hackensack, Ridgewood, Paramus, Teaneck, and Fort Lee. To speak with our team of divorce lawyers today in a free and confidential consultation regarding your concerns about your divorce, please contact us online, or through our Hackensack, NJ office at (201) 397-1750.
