Divorces are always emotionally taxing. It can even feel like one is still too much to deal with a few months after the agreement has been finalized. However, it is important that you get back out there and try to rebuild your social life after a divorce, for the sake of your own mental health and wellbeing. Here’s what we have learned in our time as Bergen County divorce attorneys, and we hope that some of this advice can work for you.
When Should I Try to Socialize Again After a Divorce?
You do not need to rush things. Take some time to heal and think about what you really want to do in life. This can give you the time to shed a lot of negative thoughts and feelings, and it can also give you the time to think about what you really want out of your social life and relationships with others.
If you have children, make sure that you are taking some time to focus on them as well. This divorce affected them too, so make sure that their mental health is also one of your top priorities.
Where Can I Go For Support?
When you are starting to feel better about your situation, that is a good time to reach out to closer friends that you know you can depend on for advice or assistance. They should have the best understanding of what kind of support you will need as you ease back into your social life.
You can also talk to a therapist or another mental health professional. They can be more of a neutral presence. You might find that your friends’ attachments to you make it hard for them to be unbiased sounding boards. A therapist might be able to help you work through things that even a close friend group cannot assist you with.
What Should I Avoid After My Divorce?
Rushing back into things can be one of the biggest errors, but there are also a few more mistakes that you should try to avoid after your divorce. Try not to:
Vent all the time: Your friends are there to listen, but that does not mean that you should be the one venting all of the time. Remember that friendship is a two-way street and that your friend might have their own stuff to talk about.
Engage in a social “arms race” with your ex: It can be tempting to see what your ex is up to and try to make sure that you look like you are doing better. This is a bad idea though. Focus on what you need and resist the desire to try and “win” the divorce by having a more robust social life than your former spouse.
Consult With a Divorce Attorney You Can Trust
If you are ready to file for divorce or you are already in the process of separating, an experienced and compassionate attorney from our firm is ready to help you. Contact the Law Office of Townsend, Tomaio & Newmark and learn more about what we can do to assist you.